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IN HEAVEN(S) WITH A SENIOR MAN
On glacial winter nights you and I are curled up with a mystery novel and a glass of robust red wine. STARGAZER is outside wrapped in a parka, photographing the Minnesota night sky. Minnesota is where being outside in January is an act of Survivor-style endurance. How hard is it to handle a Phillips ToUcam when the temperature is minus 5 degrees? Very hard IMHO but STARGAZER is unfazed.
STARGAZER tells me Mars is especially spectacular, and if you want to get up at 3 AM, you’ll also get a peek at Venus. That lady planet arrives in the southeastern sky a few hours ahead of the sun. Seeing Venus and Mars in the same sky has some erotic potential, but not only am I temperature-challenged, I just can’t get out of bed before 7am.
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STARGAZER has invited me for a visit and I’m considering it because he says he doesn’t mind if I stay inside and light the fire and mull the wine while he struggles with ice, metal, and clouds. The clouds, being the most difficult to control, are the most frustrating. He’s all ready with his super magnified shot and suddenly the clouds intrude. Or they don’t, but the breeze that worries the clouds can make its own mischief, skewing the video image.
ORDER IS HEAVEN’S FIRST LAW
STARGAZER is infinitely patient. He photographs thousands of images, edits them, and saves the best. Having a relationship with STARGAZER means you, too, need to be patient. And you must like looking at photos and videos of beautiful, quivering planets that are hundreds of millions of miles away.
I found STARGAZER on an online dating site for seniors. His profile didn’t reveal that he loves to search the heavens with high powered instruments. He is a jazz piano player, and a very good one, and that’s what he talked most about in his profile. I was attracted to him for his modesty and his eagerness to find someone who likes piano music, photography, canoeing in Minnesota’s spectacular waters, and trekking in the woodlands.
I don’t know Minnesota, having been there only once for a conference in Minneapolis, but I know it’s great for nature lovers. The more I get to know STARGAZER via phone and email, the more I think I’d like to see his home state from his perspective. I’d like to do some hiking around one of the local lakes, and the idea of packing a suitcase that doesn’t have to have jewelry in it is appealing. Even on the phone I can tell STARGAZER could care less about David Yurman.